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关于“修改论文”,我们有个最效率的“捷径”!


关于“修改论文”,我们有个最效率的“捷径”!

这里~依旧是小E的《Essay写作策略》课堂

这一节

必须划重点!!!

修改论文

绝对是每位同学写论文都会经历过的痛苦!

相信很多同学在写完了论文草稿之后

回过头一看

都会有这个感受

关于“修改论文”,我们有个最效率的“捷径”!

(哎呀,辣眼睛)

想改

觉得哪个地方都很不大对劲

就像绘画一样

一根线画歪了,后面照着画的线都歪了

要改简直伤筋动骨

关于“修改论文”,我们有个最效率的“捷径”!

△图源自微博,作者:zhcomicart

更可怕的是

这都写完了

才想到了一个更好的论点

或者发现一个超级大的逻辑漏洞

关于“修改论文”,我们有个最效率的“捷径”!

(简直要死了~)

好吧,这个要怎么办呢?

本期是

《Essay写作策略》

第十五课

Revising the Draft

修改草稿

关于“修改论文”,我们有个最效率的“捷径”!

1

How to revise

如何修改:

还是一步步的来,先别急:

先搞清楚自己是怎么想的,先把你的论文草稿放在一边,先理清思路,现在的论文思路是怎么样的,自已又有了什么新的想法,想要什么等等,把你想要的先写出来。

再来看现实与“理想”间的差距,哪怕你的论文再不忍直视,也要自己看看那些有问题需要改动。如果自己有点摸不清楚,可以问问别人。

向别人阐述你的观点想法,看看其他人的对此的理解和看法,你会对你的表达和想法有更客观的改进。

关于“修改论文”,我们有个最效率的“捷径”!

重新分析评估——从文章结构框架开始,就像你当初搭建大纲一样,确定每个段落的中心思想,列举段落的重要性,段落之间的联系。做个清晰明了的分析。

再重新思考你的论点,要好好考虑如何修改文章啦~重新排序,删减或者增加章节,打乱重组。你现在该有一个修改方案。

关于“修改论文”,我们有个最效率的“捷径”!

检查这个修改方案,再看看通篇的逻辑,段落间的关联,是否存在问题,每个段落的主题句是否足够显眼。

校对。主要用于提高语言的简明精要,建议大家直接读出来,你的耳朵会捡起你眼睛错过的东西。

说到底,这还是熟悉的发现问题——分析问题——解决问题的一套流程,先要知道目标,自身情况,再全面分析,思考解决方案,重新检查校对。

关于“修改论文”,我们有个最效率的“捷径”!

看上去很麻烦,大刀阔斧的很多步骤,但相比较东拼瞎凑随便多次的潦草润色修改,这样的修改才是最效率的做法,能从根本上提高论文本身的质量。

2

Success Precedes Confidence

修订的一个例子:

说完大家都懂的“大道理”

让我们实实在在的看下

修改的实例:

有哪些变动可以自己体会~

↓↓↓

1969年,E. B. 写了一篇关于第一次月球漫步的短评。

这篇短评一共修改了六次,我们这里放出第三稿和最后一稿(第六稿)。

大家可以先读读看看,有什么差别。

(为了方便阅读,这整段话,小E分段了)

Draft 3:

Planning a trip to the moon differs in no essential respect from planning a trip to the beach. You have to decide what to take along, what to leave behind. Should the thermos jug go? The child’s rubber horse? The dill pickles? These are the sometimes fateful decisions on which the success or failure of the whole outing turns.

计划一次月球之旅可不像计划前往海滩的旅行那样简单。你必须决定要带什么,留下什么。热水瓶应该去吗?孩子的橡皮马?莳萝泡菜?这些有些时候是对于整个郊游是成功还是失败可是起决定性作用。

Something goes along that spoils everything because it is always in the way; something gets left behind that is desperately needed for comfort or for safety.

有些事情会破坏一切,因为它总是在路上为了舒适或安全而迫切需要的东西。

The men who drew up the moon list for the astronauts planned long and hard and well. (Should the vacuum cleaner go, to suck up moondust?)

那些为宇航月登月计划制定长长的清单的人们真的很不容易。(比如,像真空吸尘器应该去吸收月尘吗?)

Among the items they sent along, of course, was the little jointed flagpoles and the flag that could be stiffened to the breeze that did not blow. (It is traditional among explorers to plant the flag.) Yet the two men who stepped out on the surface of the moon were in a class by themselves and should have been equipped accordingly: they were of the new breed of men, those who had seen the earth whole.

当然,它们发送的物品中,有小型连接的旗杆和可以加固到不用吹的微风的就能飘起的旗帜。(在树立国旗是一种传统的。)然而,走出月球表面的两个人本身就是一个团体,而且应该有全面的装备:他们是新一代的人,是看过整个地球的人。

When, following instructions, they colored the moon red, white, and blue, they were fumbling with the past—or so it seemed to us, who watched, trembling with awe and admiration and pride. This moon plant was the last scene in the long book of nationalism, one that could have well been omitted.

按照指示,当他们将月亮变成红色,白色和蓝色时,他们正在摸索着过去 – 或者在我们看来,他们看上去,激动,敬畏和骄傲地颤抖着。这个登月事件是民族主义长篇书中的最后一个不可以略过的场景。

The moon still holds the key to madness, which is universal, still controls the tides that lap on shores everywhere, still guards lovers that kiss in every land under no banner but the sky. What a pity we couldn’t have forsworn our little Iwo Jima scene and planted instead a banner acceptable to all—a simple white handkerchief, perhaps, symbol of the common cold, which, like the moon, affects us all!

月亮仍然是(让人)疯狂的关键,这是普遍存在的,仍然可以控制任何一处海岸上的潮汐,仍然守护在每一块土地上的爱好者并轻吻他们,但除了天空之外。遗憾的是,我们不可能放弃我们的小小的硫磺岛场景。像一条简单的白手帕,也许,类似于普通感冒,月亮影响着我们所有人!

Draft 6:

The moon, it turns out, is a great place for men. One-sixth gravity must be a lot of fun, and when Armstrong and Aldrin went into their bouncy little dance, like two happy children, it was a moment not only of triumph but of gaiety.

事实证明,月亮对于男人是一个好地方。六分之一的引力一定很有趣,当阿姆斯特朗和奥尔德林开始他们充满活力的小舞时,就像两个快乐的孩子一样,这不仅是胜利的时刻,也是欢乐的时刻。

The moon, on the other hand, is a poor place for flags. Ours looked stiff and awkward, trying to float on the breeze that does not blow. (There must be a lesson here somewhere.) It is traditional, of course, for explorers to plant the flag, but it struck us, as we watched with awe and admiration and pride, that our two fellows were universal men, not national men, and should have been equipped accordingly.

另一方面,月亮是一个糟糕的地方。我们看起来僵硬和笨拙,试图漂浮在不吹的微风上。(这里必须有一个教训。)当然,传统的探险者可以种上国旗,但是当我们怀着敬畏和骄傲的眼光看着我们所认为的两个普通的男人,而不是国民,并且应该准备充分。

Like every great river and every great sea, the moon belongs to none and belongs to all. It still holds the key to madness, still controls the tides that lap on shores everywhere, still guards the lovers that kiss in every land under no banner but the sky. What a pity that in our moment of triumph we did not forswear the familiar Iwo Jima scene and plant instead a device acceptable to all: a limp white handkerchief, perhaps, symbol of the common cold, which, like the moon, affect us all, unites us all!

像每条大河和每一个大海一样,月亮不属于任何人,属于所有人。它仍然是疯狂的关键,仍然控制着到处都是海岸的潮汐,仍然守护着在没有旗帜的天空中亲吻的爱人。遗憾的是,在我们胜利的那一刻,我们没有放弃熟悉的硫磺岛场景,而是取代了所有人都能接受的设备:一块柔软的白色手帕,也许,类似于普通感冒,月亮影响着我们所有人,团结我们所有人!

总结:

在草稿6中,他在他的第三句话中陈述了他正在解决的问题 – “the moon is a poor place for flags”。在草稿3中,他没有表明这一点,直到句子开始”Yet”,而不是直接说明;</